


Stay

by seokjin



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-23
Updated: 2014-02-23
Packaged: 2018-01-13 11:23:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1224421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seokjin/pseuds/seokjin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Canon, Javier is selfish and Yuzuru gives him what he needs</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stay

Javier shouldn’t be smoking but he deserves it. He blows smoke circles into the night air, thinking of chilly winter nights in Madrid, smoking just to keep warm or to impress his friends—he never decided which--, making a little smile whenever they disappeared into nothingness.

He holds the cigarette tighter than usual, crushing it slightly. The nicotine wasn’t settling the quiver in his fingers or the storm in his mind. He bites against the paper, the taste of smoke mixing nicely with the aftertaste of regret and disappointment in his mouth.

He inhales, closing his eyes and trying to imagine something better, his mother’s homecooking, a warm bath after a good skate, the soft inside of his girlfriend’s thighs. He exhales and opens his eyes. He feels nothing.

“You shouldn’t be smoking.”

Javier jumps slightly and turns his head around. It’s Yuzuru, still dressed in his Team Japan jacket, cheeks red from the cold and excitement. Javier smiles at him, taking another inhale. He feels his hands shaking more.

Yuzuru grins and Javier’s smile can’t help but widen. He walks over to where Javier stands in the balcony, still grinning and laughing. Javier can hear the awkwardness underlying in his laughter, his attempts to fill the gaps with a smile and a chuckle. Javier’s smile fades.

“I didn’t hear you come in,” Javier says, putting out the cigarette against the railing. Yuzuru shrugs and takes Javier’s hand. Javier doesn’t react, watching Yuzuru, who, after a pause, laughs again and takes the cigarette out of Javier’s hand.

Javier smiles and Yuzuru throws the cigarette over the balcony.

“It’s not good to litter,” Javier chides and Yuzuru shrugs, holding Javier’s arm, making Javier’s heart squeeze.

“It’s not good to smoke either,” Yuzuru says, his voice lower than usual. He stands so close to Javier and Javier wants to move away, but he can’t. Yuzuru brushes his lips tentatively against his, watching Javier, waiting for his reaction, and Javier kisses him hard. His hands clutch at the back of Yuzuru’s neck to pull him closer and Yuzuru sighs against his mouth, his breath warm.

They kiss slow to start, but then their pace quickens, as it always does, like they can’t get enough.  
Javier pulls back to ask if Yuzuru locked the door and Yuzuru nods, grabbing his neck so he can kiss him some more. Javier is half-certain that Yuzuru had forgotten to close the door, but he doesn’t care now. Right now, he needs this, the hot feeling of Yuzuru’s lips, the sweet taste of those sugary snacks he needs before practise, and the wine Brian makes them drink after a successful competition. It all hurts and feels good in the right ways.

Yuzuru accidentally bites him, like he always does, but he shakes his head when Yuzuru apologizes. He holds Yuzuru tightly against him, kissing him hard. It stings, but it soon feels numb, like all that’s happened today.

“Needy,” Yuzuru says softly, pulling back and Javier smiles, nodding. Javier is surprised to see Yuzuru pull away completely, out of his arms, and walk back inside the hotel room.

“Where are you going,” Javier asks, confusedly.

“Coach told me to come back soon,” Yuzuru replies but frowns before continuing. “Interviews.”

A nasty taste fills his mouth, Annoyance? Jealousy?, making shame awash over him. “Okay,” He nods, hoping he doesn’t sound anything but normal. “Okay,” he repeats to his chagrin.

Yuzuru looks at him forlornly before turning to leave. As he closes the door behind him, Yuzuru looks over his shoulder.

“I’ll be back,” Yuzuru says with a playful smile and Javier’s heart pounds.

 

It’s midnight when Yuzuru returns to his room. Javier had just hung up on his girlfriend, consoling her after she cried trying to comfort him. She had tried to use her own failure as a figure skater to make him feel better, only to make herself cry and Javier feel like crap.

Yuzuru strips out of his Team Japan jacket at the foot of Javier’s hotel bed, his intense gaze making Javier feel hot. As Yuzuru removes his shirt, revealing his smooth skin over hard-earned abs and tight muscles underneath, Javier thinks of her face, all puffy and filled with tears. He wants to wipe them away, but he knows that he doesn’t deserve to. He’s too selfish.

Yuzuru crawls into bed beside him, holding him tightly.

They lay like this, Yuzuru’s arm around Javier, until Yuzuru becomes restless.  
Yuzuru kisses Javier, and the thoughts of his girlfriend disappear. All he can think about is how good Yuzuru’s mouth feels on his skin. He kisses up Javier’s neck, his breath hot and panting. Javier turns to him and threads his fingers through Yuzuru’s hair as he kisses him all over, his breathing soon matching Yuzuru’s.

Yuzuru makes quick work of Javier’s pyjama shirt and his mouth latches on to Javier’s nipple, laving it between his teeth. Javier moans, failing at keeping quiet as Yuzuru eagerly sucks on his nipple.

Javier closes his eyes and kisses Yuzuru, reveling in the taste of sweetness, joy, on his mouth. They line up their hips together and Javier moves on top of him so he can roll his hips down, grinding and making Yuzuru arch just the way he likes. Yuzuru gasps when he rolls his hips, crotch brushing against his half-hard dick and Javier laughs, for real this time. It all feels, tastes so good.

He feels something cold against his chest and looks down. He sees the bright blue first and he knows what it is before he sees the rest. The gold medal, Yuzuru’s gold medal, he’s wearing the fucking medal.

Javier looks up at Yuzuru, and he laughs in his face, his hands around Javier’s neck. He tilts his head and smiles in that cute way of his, that smile that makes anyone give him everything he wants.

“Remember,” Yuzuru murmurs, forcing Javier’s head down so he can kiss him. “Remember, when we joked…” He trails off against his mouth, taking his bottom lip between his teeth.  
Javier nods, slowly realizing what he means and laughs along with Yuzuru. The last time they had done this, months before Sochi, they had joked in bed about fucking with their medals on, plural. The thought, feeling so long now, leaves him with a hollow feeling in minutes.

“We can still…do it? Right?” Yuzuru looks at him, his eyes worried even as he smiles.  
“Yeah, yeah,” Javier nods and Yuzuru chuckles, but this time it doesn’t make Javier’s heart pound.

Yuzuru watches Javier and Javier laughs after a short while. It sounds forced, and Javier knows it, but he tries anyway. Yuzuru stares at him and for the first time in a while, Javier can’t tell what he’s thinking. He gives him a look that’s so distant, making him worry.

“Yuzuru,” Javier asks slowly, and Yuzuru takes his hand, pressing it against his cheek. Javier swallows thickly.

He forces Javier’s fingers to spread against his cheek, pressing his hand hard against his cheek. Javier’s brow furrows and he caresses his cheek, placing a kiss on Yuzuru’s forehead.

“What is it,” He whispers and Yuzuru shakes his head, his cheeks flushed.

“You,” Yuzuru mutters and Javier understands. He kisses Yuzuru’s forehead again, “I’m sorry.”

Yuzuru shuts his eyes close and opens them quickly, his eyes still sad, making Javier feel worse, and slightly annoyed. I don’t need his pity, crosses his mind and he quickly dispels it away. This was how Yuzuru was, always worrying for other people, people he cared about.

“You did your best,” Yuzuru starts but then stops, and Javier bites his lip, holding back an angry rebuttal. Yuzuru places his hand against Javier’s cheek, petting it, as if he were trying to brush away the quivers Javier didn’t notice he was making. “That’s all you can ask for, your best.”

Javier shook his head and takes Yuzuru’s hand off his cheek, kissing him silent. He doesn’t need to hear Yuzuru’s comforting words, he doesn’t need anyone’s comforting words. He doesn’t deserve them, any of them.

Javier kisses Yuzuru’s lips, harder when he tries to break away. He kisses him harder than he had ever kissed him before, and all Yuzuru can do is wrap his arms around him, pliant under Javier’s touch.

They kiss open-mouthed and sloppy, and Javier grinds against him, making those desperate noises he loves spill from Yuzuru’s mouth. He just needs this, Yuzuru spread out on the bed, moaning and begging for him, only him.

They tear the rest of each other’s clothes off quickly and rut against each other, thankful for the sweet friction only hot skin provides, making them moan louder. Javier missed the feeling of their bodies sliding together, cocks brushing against each other, competing to force the other to moan louder.

The gold medal moves against Yuzuru’s chest as Yuzuru latches on to Javier, legs crossed against his back and arms tight around his neck. The coldness of the metal was a nice contrast to the heat between the two of them, but it distracts him as it slides against his skin, making him pause and break focus to stare at the shiny medal.

Yuzuru whines for Javier to move faster, impatient as always, and Javier takes the lube and condom he hid from underneath his pillow. He lets Yuzuru rip the condom open with his teeth something Yuzuru loves to do because he knows it turns Javier on. He smirks as Javier takes the condom and places it over his cock in between him.

“Let me stretch,” Yuzuru says, taking the bottle of lube away from him, and Javier lets him, giving him space. He watches Yuzuru slick his fingers up, his eyes on Javier, and as his fingers disappear inside. His eyes never leave Javier’s, even as he stretches himself open, scissoring his fingers and whimpering as he does it.

Yuzuru likes to take his time, mostly so he can watch Javier squirm and ask him, beg him to hurry up. Javier bites his lips, trying not to give the satisfaction, but he feels so hard and just wants to be inside of Yuzuru, inside of that tightness.

“C’mon,” Javier urges and Yuzuru laughs, but Javier can hear his voice shake, and soon enough, he pulls his fingers out. He grabs on to Javier and ruts wildly against him. Javier chuckles, peppering him with kisses and moving slowly, slipping inside.

It’s been a while since their last time, but he’s surprised by how much it feels like the first. The heat is so consuming and the walls are so tight around his cock, he can barely hold it in. He becomes erratic, snapping his hips, craving more of him, realizing again why he comes back to this, why he can’t stay away.

Yuzuru falls pliant on his back, spreading more of himself open to Javier, moans growing louder as Javier moves faster. They are so loud, but Javier doesn’t care. He needs this, he deserves this. Everything else hurts so much, but this.

Yuzuru speaks in garbled Japanese to him and Javier kisses the foreign words away with his mouth, these kisses full of spit and hot pants. Javier catches some words, words Yuzuru taught him during a moment of post-coital bliss, and they make Javier smile genuinely for the first time this night.

It’s been too long, so they both come fast, with screams in their own languages. Javier pulls out, exhausted and collapses besides Yuzuru. He knows he should get up and clean himself, who knows how long they will sleep this time, and who will wake them up, but Javier feels boneless and doesn’t move.

Yuzuru does and gets up. He returns with a towel and wipes Javier and himself clean. He massages Javier’s back muscles, making Javier moan with pleasure.

“You’re louder than you were while fucking,” Yuzuru teases and Javier chuckles, his eyes heavy with sleep.

Yuzuru finishes up and leaves the bed again. He takes longer to return this time. Javier turns to his side, surprised to see Yuzuru all dressed.

“You’re not staying,” Javier asks, his eyes barely open. Yuzuru nods, blushing.

“I don’t think…it’s a good idea to stay.”

"Stay," Javier says, and he hates how pleading he sounds.

Yuzuru shakes his head, “No. I will go.”

Javier sighs and doesn’t press him more. He should be used to this. Yuzuru almost never stays after they fuck, always quick to flee before Javier can take in one last kiss, touch or caress before the guilt comes rushing in. It’s probably the same reason Yuzuru leaves.

Yuzuru leaves with one last smile and a wink, shutting the door with a soft click.

Javier lies awake and stares at the ceiling. His eyes are fixated on a brown spot he had never noticed before.

The emptiness he feels after Yuzuru is gone keeps him up, making it easy for the thoughts of tonight come back to haunt him. His mind is cruel, as the world is, and doesn’t let him sleep until dawn finally comes.

 

Javier wakes up in the middle of the afternoon the next day, feeling sticky and disgusted with himself.

He goes to the bathroom as soon as he gets up. He looks in the mirror before showering. His face is blotchy and his eyes are red, like he’d been crying all night.

“Fuck,” Javier curses and hops into the shower, scrubbing and washing himself with what little hot water this godforsaken bathroom had. He touches the marks Yuzuru left behind and presses on to them, relishing the shivers they give him.

He thinks of Yuzuru’s mouth, thick, kiss swollen, lips, and jerks himself off, gasping and coming quickly, with his name on his lips.

He props his arm against the shower wall and pants, tugging at his cock. He places his forehead against his arm, squeezing his eyes shut. This is the last time, he tells himself, the last time you fail, the last time you cry about failing, the last time you do this with Yuzuru, the last time.

He gets out of the shower when the water turns cold, and gets dressed in his Espana clothes. They reek slightly, but he doesn’t care.

He leaves the hotel room, seeing no one as he leaves the hotel. He doesn’t know what to do next and feels lost and walks aimlessly to the athletic village.

He ends up in the cafeteria and sees his friends. He sees Yuzuru laughing hysterically with Misha and Denis, and the rest of Team Japan at one table and he sees Cortney talking cheerfully with Elene at another, her face bright and perfect, like she hadn’t been sobbing last night.

How do they make it look so easy, Javier thinks and he sits down beside Cortney. She turns to him and her bright smile hurts his eyes.

“Javier,” She says, her voice full of love, and it makes Javier sick. They kiss and Elene pretends to gag. They all laugh and Javier’s cheeks hurt as he pushes the limits of his smile.  
He looks up as Cortney and Elene try and tell him stories from the hotel all the girls share, and catches a glimpse of Yuzuru staring at him. Yuzuru lifts up one finger and Javier knows.

The cycle continues, and life moves on, and it feels like shit.


End file.
